Jennifer Aniston

Jennifer Aniston

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Sandy says: You don’t go into marriage thinking you’ll get a divorce, but life happens, and when it does…you get more closet space.

Claire says: Did she leave a note?

Roy says: No…I did the exercise in a suicide support group where your partner pretends to be the one who died. Would you like to know what I said to my beautiful wife?

Claire says: …Yeah.

Roy says: Thank you for ruining my life. Thank you for ruining Casey’s life. Thank you for leaving me in this fuckin’ mess. I hate you so much I can barely breath. I hope you burn in hell… ’cause that’s where you left me and Casey.

Silvana says: Did you take your medicine today?

Claire says: Would we be driving to Tijuana if I took my fucking medicine today?

Jenny Grogan says: En garde! Thrust! Develop! Recover! You better put some oomph into that, boy-o!

Brooke Meyers says: Who loves ya, baby?

Milo Boyd says: You see, what I do is, I hunt down criminals. Idiots who jump bail, specifically.

Nicole Hurley says: (laughing) You are a bounty hunter?

Milo Boyd says: Yeah. And much as it pains me to say this, and it really does, I gotta take you to jail.

Nicole Hurley says: Life is making mistakes.

Milo Boyd says: And death is wishing that you had made more.

Nicole Hurley says: (Milo dumps her in his trunk) No, you have gotta be kidding! You cannot be putting me in the trunk! You cannot be serious!

Milo Boyd says: (shuts the trunk) I’m dead “serious”!

Milo Boyd says: Are you trying to seduce me?

Nicole Hurley says: Yeah.

Milo Boyd says: What’s the hottest thing about me? That would be my gun.

Nicole Hurley says: Why do people do that?

Milo Boyd says: Why do people do what?

Nicole Hurley says: Deny that they’ve ever done anything wrong in the relationship – why can’t people take responsibility for their shit and move on?

Milo Boyd says: (Nicole is calling Milo from inside his trunk) Nic… Nicole?

Nicole Hurley says: (crying) Please stop…

Milo Boyd says: Hey, remember how we used to be in love?

Nicole Hurley says: (still crying) Yeah.

Milo Boyd says: Well, that means I know when you’re crying for real, and when you’re faking it! Bye-bye!

Milo Boyd says: (laughs and hangs up)

Nicole Hurley says: Oh! God, Milo!

Nicole Hurley says: (Pounds on the trunk with her fists)

Milo Boyd says: (laughing) Oh, God… so good.

Rose O’Reilly says: I’ve got a bingo!

Rose O’Reilly says: Love to play bingo

Rose O’Reilly says: Love to play bingo.

Milo Boyd says: Nicole, what are you doing in here?

Nicole Hurley says: I’m going to bed?

Katherine says: [about Ian] Devlin, I gotta tell you, last night, with the ass grab of the coconut, a little bit of the red flag.

Devlin Adams says: I’ve seen him do that with the soap.

Katherine says: I’m just happy to hear that his thing-a-ding can still ring-a-ding.

Katherine says: Anyway, I got tired to them saying “I have to take a crap” and “I have to take a dump”. So I told them it was called a Devlin. And they liked it. And it stuck.

Palmer says: I can’t wait to Twitter this to all my friends.

Katherine says: Oh, I forgot, you’re 15. [Danny accidentally kicks Palmer with the intention of kicking Katherine]

Palmer says: Ouch! Did you just kick me?

Danny says: No I did not. Did you just kick her? Why did you kick her?

Katherine says: So, yeah. I’m a single mother. I have two kids I love more than anything in the world. I drive a Honda, I still have dial-up internet. I got a 2.7 GPA in college, not a 3.4. And while I’m at it telling the truth, I name my kids’ poop after you. And I work for Danny. I’m his assistant. That’s it.

Grace says: Hey, I just woke up this morning and I felt like my boobs were bigger. Do they look bigger to you?

Bruce Nolan says: No. Bigger? Um….

Grace says: Oh come one! [jiggles boobs] Look at them! They are definitely bigger! They feel so huge to me.

Bruce Nolan says: Listen I have to go but this has been the breast break, I mean the breast break, thank you.

Grace says: Where are you going?

Bruce Nolan says: To get my job back!

Nicole Hurley says: (holds a gun) Don’t call me a girl.

Nicole Hurley says: [holds a gun] Don’t call me a girl.

Nicole Hurley says: (smashes the flower pot on the wall in the hotel room in Atlantic City as Milo leaves the room with the bag) Don’t you dare leave me like this?.

Nicole Hurley says: [smashes the flower pot on the wall in the hotel room in Atlantic City as Milo leaves the room with the bag] Don’t you dare leave me like this?

Grace says: You know, I have a very rare blood type. AB Positive.

Bruce Nolan says: Sounds delicious… (bares teeth).

Bruce Nolan says: Sounds delicious… [bares teeth]

Grace says: Have you completely lost your mind?

Justine Last says: After living in the dark for so long, a glimpse of the light can make you giddy. Strange thoughts come into your head and you better think’em. Has a special fate been calling you and you not listening? Is there a secret message right in front of you and you’re not reading it? Is this your last, best chance? Are you gonna take it? Or are you going to the grave with unlived lives in your veins?

Justine Last says: After living in the dark for so long, a glimpse of the light can make you giddy. Strange thoughts come into your head and you better think’em. Has a special fate been calling you and you not listening? Is there a secret message right in front of you and you’re not reading it? Is this your last, best chance? Are you gonna take it? Or are you going to the grave with unlived lives in your veins?

Dr. Julia Harris says: You said she was just a hole for your dick.

Dale Arbus says: I never said that…Not really my style.

Dale Arbus says: I never said that… Not really my style.

Justine Last says: That day I read the story Holden had wrote for me. It was kinda different from the other ones but kinda the same. It was about a girl who was put upon, whose job is like a prison, and whose life has lost all meaning. Other people don’t get her, especially her husband. One day she meets a boy who is also put upon and they fall in love. After spending their whole lives never getting got, with one look they get each other completely. In the end the girl and the boy run away together into the wilderness, never to be heard from again.

Phil Last says: I need to get stoned

Justine Last says: Okay. Get stoned.

Phil Last says: I just gotta escape, you know? You ever feeI Iike that?

Justine Last says: Yeah

Phil Last says: Like you gotta escape?

Justine Last says: Yeah, I do.

Justine Last says: How it all came down to this, only the Devil knows. Retail Rodeo is at the corner on my left. The motel is down the road to my right. I close my eyes and try to peer into the future. On my left, I saw days upon days of lipstick and ticking clocks, dirty looks and quiet whisperings. And burning secrets that just won’t ever die away. And on my right, what could I picture? The blue sky, the desert earth, stretching out into the eerie infinity. A beautiful never-ending nothing.

Justine Last says: Sometimes to get back on the road to redemption, you have to make pit stops.

Justine Last says: Holden gave me two of his stories to read. It was more like the story of what a story would be. It was about a boy who was put upon; whose mother is cold and selfish and whose father wanted him to play football. Other people didn’t get him. Especiall girls. Soon enough the boy comes to believe that no one can ever really know him. He starts acting out, drinking and taking all kinds of drugs. At the end the boy kills himself by jumping over a bridge. The second story was pretty much the same as the first expect at the end the boy kills himself by drinking a bottle of bug poison.

Justine Last says: After living in the dark for so long, a glimpse of the light can make you giddy. Strange thoughts come into your head and you better think’em. Has a special fate been calling you and you not listening? Is there a secret message right in front of you and you’re not reading it? Is this your last, best chance? Are you gonna take it? Or are you going to the grave with unlived lives in your veins?

Justine Last says: As a girl you see the world as a giant candy store filled with sweet candy and such. But one day you look around and you see a prison and you’re on death row. You wanna run or scream or cry but something’s locking you up. Are the other folks cows chewing cud until the hour comes when their heads roll? Or are they just keeping quiet like you, planning their escape.

Seth says: You know you can really get trapped in that web of beepers and Zenith televisions and Walkmens and discmens and floppy discs and zip drives, laser discs, answering machines and Nintendo Power Glove…

Linda says: Wow, you know so much about technology.

Linda says: One more question, why is that grass crying? It’s crying and I feel like it’s my fault.

Dr. Julia Harris says: Oh, I’m sorry Dale. I’m a squirter.

Annie Hughes says: Would you say grace, please?

Hogarth Hughes says: [Hogarth sees the Giant’s hand in the kitchen] Oh my God… Um, uh… oh, my God! We… thank you for the… er, food that mom has put in front of us and *stop!*… uh, the Devil… from doing bad things? And er, get out of here!… Uh, Satan? Go! Go so… that we may live in peace. Amen.

Annie Hughes says: Amen. That was… hmm, really unusual, Hogarth.

Justine Last says: Whatcha readin’?

Tom ‘Holden’ Worther says: Catcher in the Rye… I’m named after it.

Justine Last says: What’s your name? Catcher?

Dale Arbus says: [Dale hands Julia the dental water spray]

Dr. Julia Harris says: Alright, let see if this thing is working. [she sprays Dale in the crotch with the dental water spray]

Dr. Julia Harris says: Ooh!

Dale Arbus says: Oh, my God!

Dr. Julia Harris says: Oh! I’m sorry. I’m a squirter, Dale. Oh, you know what? I think, I can make out our little friend right there! [she squirts him in the crotch again with the water spray]

Dale Arbus says: Stop it!

Dr. Julia Harris says: Shabbat Shalom, somebody’s circumcised!

Dr. Julia Harris says: I bet you’re no shrimp in the c*ck department, huh Dale?

Dale Arbus says: Okay, Julia. Come on!

Dr. Julia Harris says: What?

Dale Arbus says: I’m not comfortable talking about that.

Dr. Julia Harris says: Oh, Dale! Come on! You know that I like to fool around! [she takes the hand of the patient and places it on her breast]

Dale Arbus says: Oops! [to the patient]

Dr. Julia Harris says: Mr. Anderton! Not in the office! This is bad! [hitting the patients hand]

Dr. Julia Harris says: Bad! Bad! Bad!

Dale Arbus says: Probably shouldn’t hit the patients.

Grace says: Do my boobs look bigger?

Grace says: I woke up this morning and I swear my boobs felt bigger. Do they look bigger to you?

Danny says: Where does the name Devlin come from?

Katherine says: She was an old sorority sister from college. She was my friend, yet I hated her.

Danny says: A fr-enemy.

Katherine says: Anyway, I got tired to them saying “I have to take a crap” and “I have to take a dump”. So I told them it was called a Devlin. And they liked it. And it stuck.

Katherine says: Anyway, I got tired to them saying ‘I have to take a crap’ and ‘I have to take a dump’. So I told them it was called a Devlin. And they liked it. And it stuck.

Dr. Julia Harris says: I’m a squirter Dale!

Eloise says: If you had a brain in either head, you’d know that I’m doing what’s best for both of us.

Jenny Grogan says: Marley’s not allowed to drink out of the toilet, you should just keep him out of the bathroom in general.

Beth says: I just need you to stop being nice to me unless you’re gonna marry me.

Nicole Hurley says: No, you have got to be kidding! You cannot be putting me in the trunk! You cannot be seri-!

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